For Everything, Turn, Turn, Turn

Well, here I am again. It's been almost a week since I got fired from my job at the gym. I'm still reeling a little because I did not see it coming. My managers pretended like everything was fine. They waited until the end of my shift to tell me.

I'm not upset so much at the fact they fired me. I was going to quit anyway when I found a new job. What made me angry is that they did not tell me first thing in the morning and let me decide whether or not I wanted to work that day. I would have said no. What I resent is they lead me to believe that all was well the entire day. I feel deceived, betrayed and used.

Now, I could look at this in a couple of ways. This is the perfect opportunity to utilize the resources out there to get a better paying job, namely going back to school. The federal government has a program through Employment Insurance that allows people to to return to school at the government's expense. The skill must be a marketable one so that when the recipient is finished they can return to the workforce. I'm going to go for it.

My plan is to get a Developmental Service Worker diploma so that I can work with either disabled or mentally ill individuals. This will allow me to get out the the minimum-wage-odd-job cycle and into a sub-career. The plan is that I will pay off debts and save up money to go to university and get my degree in journalism.

This plan of action gives me a goal and hope for the immediate future. I can feel the clouds of depression lifting and the fog is clearing from my eyes. I do not feel like I am teetering on the abyss of despair.

Another light that has come into my life is in the form of new love. My heart as grown extremely fond of a friend whom I've met on the internet. The friendship is new, but everything I know about him thus far, I love. He is gentle, kind, attentive and finds me fascinating in every way. He loves me--all of me--for who I am. My weight problem is not an issue for him. He finds me "very beautiful". I am taken aback by this pure, sincere and genuine love. I am trying to not be afraid and enjoy it because it satisfies my deepest human need.

Pax Christi,
KaraLynn