I Can't Explain It

"I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go..."
~"Far Away" by Nickelback

There are butterflies in my stomach. They are dancing around in there at a frenzied speed. An interesting turn of events has occured within the last few days. Someone has expressed interest in me. I'm flattered and I'm scared. Flattered as I am sure he intended. Scared because I am not used to it. I am not accustomed to being the persued, only the pursuer.

He has told me he likes my passion, he loves my spirit. It's who I am as a person. I am a tenacious and passionate woman. It feels so very good to be admired and recognized for that, as opposed to the physical attributes. I don't fit the "ideal", so often my other qualities are not explored and appreciated. My book inevitably gets judged by the cover, the contents never read.

When someone takes the time to open that cover and actually follows the story inside it feels so nice. My heart swells because I have waited so long for it.

I don't know what to make of it and I don't know where it will lead. I'm going to try to not analyze it and just enjoy it. But it's going to be difficult because I have been hurt so many times. I want to believe it's real, true that someone could actually see what this person sees in me.

So I wait. I wait as the butterflies wreak havoc in my belly.

Pax Christi,
KaraLynn